You buy now

Today I had an experience with the type of salesman that possibly have one of the worst reputations: car salesman. As a salesman myself, I like to pay attention to techniques that are used by others. Whenever I receive a sales calls, perhaps to buy a timeshare, I’ll give the caller a listen just to see how good they are. When they seem to be doing well, I’ll throw in a test and though I have received some surprisingly good responses, more often they’ll fall flat on their face. I can’t blame Raj because he’s just another person outsourced in India doing his best with the limited training they’re provided.

Back to Car Salesmen. When you arrive at a dealership, out in the front there will be a flock of salesmen congregated together, discussing who knows what. Probably what color underwear the receptionist is wearing. They know who spoke with the last people that came in and who’s turn it is to prey. I am approached, I’ll call this man Carl. Carl comes towards me with a big smile (a must if you want to succeed in sales) and says “How can I help you today?” I told him we’re here to see our friend Ray and go on our way. After speaking with Ray, Ray takes us back to the pit and introduces us to Carl again. Now, Ray is an introvert, he’s a great guy but he usually likes to keep to himself, so he probably doesn’t converse with a lot of people outside of his department. Ray has probably never spoken once to Carl.

Technique #1: Carl: You’re friends with Ray? Great guy. We’re going to be able to give you the best price. The friends and family pricing. That’s the same price that Ray would pay here as an employee!

This is a move used to make you feel like you’re going to get a deal right off the bat. There is no need to negotiate price with us once the time comes. Just take it. Take it in the butt and walk to your new car with a limp cause we gon give it to you, give it to you good.

Note, We’re there to look at cars for my mom and she wants the CR-V, so he takes us there.

Technique #2: He tells us the cars are really far. Across the street far. However, there are  a line of CR-Vs just 20 feet away. Once we get to the closer line of CR-Vs, we feel a sense that we’ve been hooked up. Like he’s saying, the cars are actually across the street, but here’s what I can do, I can show you these cars here, which we only show our VIP.

As he’s explaining the features it went like this. LX-lowest model SE- has nicer wheels EX-has sun roof, right side camera and second screen up front EX-L- Has leather interior. So each model up has everything the previous model has + it’s add ons. My mom expresses that the right view camera is cool. That was way too much details, all that matters is my mom said the side view camera is cool, which only exists on the second most expensive and the most expensive model.

Technique #3: I call this the lemon tree technique. In real estate, a lot of times when agents find out what a person really wants in a house, for example: a lemon tree. They will continuously divert attention from the faults of the house and say “but hey, there’s a lemon tree!” or “Look how clearly you can see the lemon tree from this room, and this room too!” or “OMG do you smell that? Is that the lemon tree?!” or “Wow, look at how much shade this lemon tree can provide in those hot summer times and your children and use these lemons to run their own lemonade business!” You get the picture.

This salesman lemon tree’d my mom with the side camera and began selling the hell out of it. “Ohhhhh it’s so great and only the EX and higher has it, you like the side camera right?”

Technique #4: Getting confirmation. He continuously tried to get us to affirm that something was what we wanted. In sales, they say you need to get potential clients to agree with you  at least 5 times before you go in for the close. Usually the Yes/no question is formatted in a way where you would be stupid if you said no. “We’re going to be able to help you save money here. You do want to save money right?”

After we’re done looking we go back into his office and he takes our information. As he’s doing so, he’s constantly talking.

Technique #5: credentials. He talks about how long he’s been here and how he’s a gold star member, which means he sold xxx # of cars in a year. How he’s only one of two people in the office to do it. Also, that he still takes his weekends off. So this must mean he is talented or good at his job. Wow, such amaze. It’s such an honor to be in your presence, could I get you a free water from the lobby? Cause you’re on fire and I think you need some free water. Actually, I’m just gonna call the fire dept, cause I don’t think Aquafina can contain you.

Technique #6:Building rapport. He asked my mom “So is it Ms. or Mrs.?” That’s when I said, put whatever, she’s a widow. He continued to fill things in and says. “It’s so tough, when I was young my dad suddenly passed away without warning, it was the hardest thing ever. Then later on my mother got cancer and passed away too. That one was harder because, she was a big woman you know? And at the end of it, she was only 80 pounds. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through that. I think it’s better if they just go immediately and not have to feel that pain. Their pain hurts me too.”

Building rapport 2: He asked me what I did. I told him real estate and then he goes into how he “tried” to get into real estate and spent a few months going to get his license before Honda made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

After the information is taken he goes to a separate office to get everything printed.

Technique #7: Make the client wait. We waited at least 15 minutes. They obviously already have all this information ready but they make it seem like they have to go through this rigorous process of creating a “specially for you” pricing. Fool, we got places to be. I need to blast a dookie too so hurry the hell up.

Technique #8: Reaffirm their word. “Usually our pricing is $27k, but, since you’re good friends with Ray, we’re going to be able to give it to you for $25k.That’s a whole $2,000 off, isn’t that great?!” He keeps pointing to the difference between the retail and what price they’re able to give us as he runs through all the numbers.

So I begin the negotiation process and of course, he’s not the man. He answers to someone else. But this person is not just anybody, he’s probably not even a manager. He’s just an even more aggressive salesman.

Technique #9: Pretend you have to answer to someone so you can have a buffer.

Now Carl brings out Rick. Rick comes out with his dick swinging. “So Carl tells me you want to negotiate some prices? What price would you like?” As I begin saying things, he responds with the We can’t do that, there’s no way, we’ll lose money. These are the best prices we can do.

Technique #10: We are a business and just trying to make money too. You don’t want our dainty 1000 employee dealership to go out of business do you? Cause that’s what you’re asking us to do when you ask for this price.

So I get up to leave and tell him if that’s the best price then we’re done here, thank you.

Technique #11: The do anything to make the client stay technique. “WAIT. These are the prices we would like to get for the car. I mean we’re already cutting off $2,000. Like you said, everything is negotiable so what price are you thinking about?”

Anyways, long story short. I really had to poop and we weren’t planning on buying a car that day anyways so I bid him farewell. I have a tendency to try to negotiate in all situations and he tried very hard to make me stay. I would say he tried as hard as a drug addict down on his luck and offering some questionable acts for a bump. However, when you’re groundhogging, it’s time to get jogging. This adventure will have to be finished another day.

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